第32章 远处的青山(1)

    A Green Hill Far Away

    远处的青山

    John Galsworthy/约翰·高尔斯华绥

    Was it indeed only last March，or in another life，that I climbed this green hill on that day of dolour，the Sunday after the last great German offensive began？A beautiful sun-warmed day it was，when the wild thyme on the southern slope smelled sweet，and the distant sea was a glitter of gold.Lying on the grass，pressing my cheek to its warmth，I tried to get solace for that new dread which seemed so cruelly unnatural after four years of wax-misery.

    想来，不单单是刚刚过去的三个月，逝去的岁月已恍如隔世，在那个充满痛苦的日子——德军发动最后一次总攻后的星期天，我是否曾登上过这座青山？正是在那样一个阳光和煦的温馨天气里，南坡上的野茴香飘来阵阵芬芳，远处的海面呈现出一片金灿灿的光影。我俯下身子，用芳草暖着面颊，为新增的恐惧寻找慰藉。眼前这场进攻发生在长达四年的争战之后，显得越发惨烈。

    “If only it were all over！”I said to myself；and I could come here，and to all the lovely places I know，without this awful contraction of the heart，and this knowledge that at every tick of my watch some human body is being mangled or destroyed.Ah，if only I could！Will there never be an end？

    “但愿这一切早日结束吧！到那时，我便可以再次来到这里，到所有我熟悉的美好地方去，而不会像现在这样黯然神伤，钟表的滴答声也不会成为一批批惨遭荼毒的生灵迈向死亡的计时器。但我又能——难道战争永远不会终结吗？”我自语道。

    And now there is an end，and I am up on this green hill once more，in December sunlight，with the distant sea a glitter of gold.And there is no cramp in my heart，no miasma clinging to my senses.Peace！It is still incredible.No more to hear with the ears of the nerves the ceaseless roll of gunfire，or see with the eyes of the nerves drowning men，gaping wounds，and death.Peace，actually Peace！The war has gone on so long that many of us have forgotten the sense of outrage and amazement we had，those first days of August，1914，when it all began.But I have not forgotten，nor ever shall.

    如今，一切终于结束了！于是，我再次登上了这座青山，沐浴着十二月里的阳光。看着远处海面上那一片金灿灿的光影。这时的我心头已不再阵阵痉挛，身上也不再受硝烟的侵袭。和平到来了！回想起来，仍觉得难以置信。不过．我再也不必凝神屏息地谛听连连不断的炮火声，也不必目睹那些被击倒了的人们，那张裂的伤口和死亡了。和平到来了，真的到来了！战争持续了这么久。许多人早已淡忘了1914年战争全面爆发时的那种狂爆与惊恐了，但我却从没忘记。而且永远也不会忘记。

    In some of us—I think in many who could not voice it—the war has left chiefly this feeling：“If only I could find a country where men cared less for all that they seem to care for，where they cared more for beauty，for nature，for being kindly to each other.If only I could find that green hill far away！”Of the songs of Theocritus，of the life of St.Francis，there is no more among the nations than there is of dew on grass in an east wind.If we ever thought otherwise，we are disillusioned now.Yet there is Peace again，and the souls of men fresh-murdered are not flying into our lungs with every breath we draw.

    在一些人中（事实上，我认为抱有下述想法的人不在少数，只不过他们无法表达罢了），这场战争给他们留下了这种感觉：“但愿我们能找到这样一个国家，那里的人所关心的不再是我们一直所关心的那些东西，而是美，是大自然，是彼此的爱心。但愿我们能找到远处那座青山！”忒俄克里托斯的诗篇，圣弗兰西斯的高风亮节，在如今的诸国里，就像东风吹起时草上的露珠那样，极为罕见。即便我们过去的想法不同，现在的幻想也终究破灭，但和平最终还是到来了，那些新近死于战事的人们的幽魂总不会再随我们的呼吸而充斥在我们的胸中吧。（未完待续）